Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The best paranormal tv is stupid

I love the idea of angsty paranormal tv better than the shows themselves


The netflix blurbs are promising; angst, love, loves lost, and plenty of paranormal action, but two or three episodes in, things always start to go stupid. I'll forgive the crappy special effects, but if they are so bad that you can't pull it off, write another script. Don't they give the writers an idea of what they've got in the CGI prop room?

Haven


I'm watching, but I have to push on through things like abandoned dogs turned into men. Dog men. Like a pack of them, and they are learning to use tools. Oh no! One has rabies and it's the family dog. You can't Old Yeller a man, though. ...or can you?

I'm glad I stuck it out long enough for the one where she sees all the men she loves die on the same day. That's gotta be tough, and it was well done.

I love the theme music. It's up there with Game of Thrones and Firefly




The Originals


Too complicated.

I like that the actresses aren't all super skinny and scrawny like most tv actresses. Don't get me wrong, they aren't really overweight, but they are normal. ...and beautiful.

Even with that, too much happens in just one episode to care anymore. People swap sides, mysteries are looming and found out immediately, but look, there's another mystery!

This one isn't just werewolves and vampires, but they also have witches and 'hybrids,' which they talk about like it's got a wikipedia entry. A hybrid is like a mash up of a werewolf and a vampire, and I guess they are like an unstoppable army of one, and they want to make more.

Also, talked about like it's a common term is the title word; Original. Like "OMG an Original is in my bar!"


Being Human (US version)


Fun, but is that enough?

I'm 5 in, but not sure I'll continue. The premise itself is 'stupid,' so at least I know what I'm getting into.


Fringe


Something dumb happened around episode 1 (maybe it was 3) that made me both bored and roll my eyes.

It's still on my watch list, but only because I can't remember why I stopped watching it. There's no one hot enough to make me press on.


Beauty and the Beast


Something truly dumb must have happened early on, because I have no urge to remember this one or why I stopped this on early.

I don't think it's paranormal, either. I think it was a toxic waste accident or military experiment gone wrong. ...or right? Either way, it's boring, despite the amazing beauty of whatever her name is. The one who used to be Lana Lang on Smallville.


Lost Girl


Take every freakin' random 'fae' or paranormal idea in the world and stick it in this show for one episode each.


I'm sure it looked good on paper.

There's a unintentionally comical 'fae' underworld that's actually right in front of us (Is your dry cleaner really using magic to clean your suits? Look out!).

Add plenty of attractive lesbians and insinuate that most women are easily swayed to go gay, and you have Lost Girl.

I have to hear "Oh, you're the unaligned succubus" one more time...


Maybe paranormal angst books are better?


...but a few that I've tried have been too dumb to continue reading.

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