Finding A Religion

What do you do when you want to be religious?

I was born a Catholic, I suppose. I was baptised a few days later. But, I never really followed it.

In high school, I realized I didn't really believe in God. My best friends were all Catholic, though. In college, I was even in the Newman Club, with all my Catholic friends. It was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed the debates with my friends, as well. Of course, they knew my soul was doomed, but didn't seem to hold that against me.

I was never one of THOSE athiests. The ones that are angry. I just didn't believe. I always thought that religious Christians and Jews tended to be better people than the typical athiest. I still do, although there are good athiests and bad Christians and Jews. Religion makes us better.

So, now I believe again. I just don't know what I believe. I believe Jesus existed. Do I believe he was (or is) the son of God or is God? No. I even have a hard time thinking that it's important to believe that. In fact, why would God care if I believed in that aspect?

While I'm sure God's happy to have people be good FOR him, isn't he happy that the people who are good sort of "on their own" are good, too? It's results, right? Who's the better person? The guy who doesn't steal the candy because he thinks it's wrong or the guy who sees the security camera pointing his way?

I'm not deep enough to keep this kinda stuff up, but suffice it to say that I've come to my senses and believe in something higher. Now, if you believe in the Judeo Christian God, but don't think Jesus is the son of God, what does that make you? Jewish? I'm not even thinking that a Messiah is going to come, someday. So, not Jewish.

It feels wrong to just go to any old church. I feel like a Christian, at heart. But, with a million churches to walk into, how do you know which is right or wrong for you?

Gospel churches look fun. But, you don't really go to church for fun.

I like traditions, too. Something that seems sort of "official" and long-ago-established. Catholic or Lutheran, maybe?

What I really want is that little church on Little House on the Prairie. Something like that one. But, since Minnesota (and the 1800s) are pretty far away, I'll have to settle for something around here.

The phone book seems like a strange way to find a church.