Sunday, March 26, 2006

Change Of Focus

When I first started out to lose weight, I was amazed at how easy it was, once I put my mind to it. The weight melted off and the constant and consistent results was enough to keep me motivated on an ongoing basis. That was almost three years ago. Seems like forever.

It's hard to even remember how different things were back then. But, what I remember the most was thinking I was on the verge of being "done." I felt close for a long, long time, too. Strangely, I still don't feel much closer to "done" today.

I think it's a good thing to not see the end point of your fitness goals, while it would be nice to make a couple of solid milestones along the way. For instance, I still want to be leaner, but when my abs are here, I will want to weigh more, too. I won't be done. Those abs are my current milestone.

This is an ongoing frustration. Never reaching this one, simple milestone: abs.

I've taken a more long term approach to both this milestone and my overall fitness goals. One can only be starving so long before you get fed up and temporarily take another fork in the road. Bulk up, cut up, get stronger, repeat. The process doesn't get old; I like the changing routine. But, that one milestone would be great to finally reach. All the others are amiguous: get stronger. How much? Get bigger. How much? Getting leaner has a result that one can take a picture of and say "I'm done!" It's the abs again.

I can blame all sorts of things. Did years of being fat permanently slow my metabolism? It does test about 84% of "normal." But, despite compensating for this, things still go slowly.

This is my worst ramble yet. I'm hoping I don't look back and see that I never got to a solid point, but back to my bitch session. Maybe, someday, I'll reread this...

Lately, life changing events have put a smaller focus on the ol' abs. A pending divorce, the forthcoming sale of our house, my coworker leaving eight weeks early for maternity leave, a job change that didn't happen. All of these things play into it. But, the more time I spend away from my family, the more I communicate with other people. I hear about their troubles, their problems. Some are far worse than mine, some are on par, some have already been resolved, and they've moved on. There's something to be learned from all of it. From all of them.

I look around (figuratively) and see my friends, new and old, and what they've been through, conquered, overcome, or even lost to. I'm inspired by all of them.

Strangely, even with focus on others, rather than on me and the fat on by belly, the fat continues to leave (just as slowly, too...). I know this milestone will be reached, and when it does, great. But there are other milestones that NEED to be reached and NEED the focus, instead. I'll put my real effort, there.

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