Monday, June 26, 2006

Whatever you believe, don't believe in the "placebo effect"

If you've already read this at, don't waste your time here... Reprint!

I've always been a strong believer in the placebo effect. I think some of those people really are "cured" by that rascally minister on the stage. Granted, much of it is an act or just people who only think they are sick, but it shows the power of belief, faith, etc. Faith in God, a Doctor, or a pill; no matter.

But, what about those of us who believe so strongly in the placebo effect? We're practically screwed. One hint of a psychosomatic cure in others and the chance for my own cure is history.

Can I shield myself from researching a drug or supplement that I think may help me? Should I find a way to hide threads, here at*, discussing the futility of using NO-Explode or glutamine?

Ahh... The good ol' days, when green tea kept me on track toward leanness. Gone. I'm already fat again!

Oh! I just got back from buying bigger polos to contain my rapidly growing arms, when I realized that creatine merely helps me do more work. And, just a little more. Only a little... I hope that lime green polo is still in style in the 2-3 years it's going to take me to fill it.

Where will it end? Does that extra bite of chicken really put me into a positive nitrogen balance? Spinach sounds too good to be true... Acid/base, smacid base! Iceberg's crunchier, anyway!

Google can find anything and everything. It locates the information at the speed of light, it seems. That's fast. Too fast. Is google a blessing or a curse? Back in the day, I would drive to the library to research something. Fun? No, not so much. Slow? Yes. I'm a lazy man, at heart. I'd easily burn off 10% of my fat mass with supplement x, before I ever got around to driving to the library. Plus, you have to pass the "free" copies of Flex on the way to the boring sections anyway (Flex has more supplement Ads! Score!!). Google just ruins everything...

I refuse to google any ingredient in my new Hot-Rox Extreme Fat Burners. Damn-it. 30 minutes in and I'm sweating. Every time I swallow two of these beautiful little capsules, sweat forms. It's either a true thermogenic quality or an allergic reaction. Either way, I figure my metabolism is soaring. I can feel the fat coming off.

Do not tell me they aren't working. They are. Not only am I a bit warm, but I also don't want to eat as much. Is it the appetite suppressing quality or the mild heartburn? Does it matter? Not so much...

When I do eat, I seem to be more careful. Does the secret formula (and tantalizing raspberry aroma) remind me to eat right, ceasing my cravings for crap? Or, do I merely envision more money going down the toilet every time the thermic effect of donuts reminds me of the $31.95 (plus shipping) that I shelled out to have abs? No matter.

I highly recommend the new Hot-Rox Extreme Fat Burners, currently on sale at a special introductory price, at

* As such, I will not read any responses to this thread (er, blog).**

** Unless I can't find my library card.

1 comment:

  1. I don't care that I already read it at JP's. It still rocks, so it gets two replies from me. :)


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