Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Six Million Stotinki Man

I finally got my program, after a month or so of prying (literally, in a sense) to get it down on paper.

The benefit of having a girlfriend fiancĂ©e who knows stuff is that I get all the help I need to get my body in order. I wish it was in order again, but the reality is that I've never actually been in order. 

I'm pretty messed up, it seems; stiff and immobile, and it goes way back to my childhood. I grew up as a toe walker, just like my uncle and grandfather did, and I while we all three broke the habit, we never ever got our shit (or hips) in order. Doctors stuck me in Forrest Gump-esq leg braces that stretched my calves, but did little to keep my stride in stride, so over time I reverted and the calves returned to their old ways.

As I understand it, all my stuff is connected somehow, so my tight calves, introverted hips, and toe walking may either be the cause OR the result of themselves and not necessarily of each other. ...or something. (She's so pretty when she explains all this, though).

The Six Million Dollar Moustache

Whatever the pretty lady from Bulgaria is saying, we don't always know, but what we do know is that I'm being rebuilt, like the Six Million Dollar Man, only in Bulgarian currency. The exchange rate is very mysterious, but when I asked if I'd be worth Six Million whatever you call thems in the end, I was told something in the affirmative, like "six million statinki."

It's been a month of hands on help from my Eastern European Personal Trainer/Massage Therapist/Chef/Author, and I'm already feeling better. I'm more mobile and have fewer aches and pains. I can't wait to see how things have changed after another month.

Six Million Stotinki program

Daily Stuff (abridged)

  • roll foot or get massage, 2-3 minutes each side
  • high step calf stretch, 1-2 minute each side
  • glute bridge, 2x12-15
  • side plank, 2x1-1.5 minute per side

This is to be done daily, but that's not all there is. I also have a whole lotta mobility and activation to do before any training, depending on the training. It's all good, and like the NROL4A warmup and mobility, it goes a long way to getting me lifting better, rather than annoying me with stuff that seems and feels meaningless. In addition, I think Galya's done a good job of keeping it interesting and helping me out.

In a month, I hope to have the perfect mustache, better working body parts, fewer bionics, and slightly less sasquatch stank than Steve Austin had.

Talk to you later!

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you are on the right track, and in good hands.


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