My parents were Catholic, so I was baptized. That was basically my last day in church with my parents, other than the odd wedding or funeral.
I grew up never thinking about religion much. As I became a teenager, I became an atheist. I stayed an atheist throughout my college years. My friend knew I'd been baptized and joked that I was an atheist with a safety net.
Side note. Everyone thinks atheists are bitter, angry people with some anti-religious chip on their shoulder. That wasn't me. Those ones are just the atheists that people know about, because they don't shut up. I knew several who just lived life and didn't advertise. The more public ones give the rest of them a bad name. I was always pro-religion, I just didn't believe. In fact, my best friends in college were my friends at the Newman Club.
Times have changed and I'm no longer an atheist. I identify with Christians, but I really don't know where to start with religion. It's been a while since I read The Bible, but the last time I did, I was not inspired.
Here's my problem. I like what God has to offer. Christians and Jews are it. They are obviously onto something. But, I'm not getting the whole "Jesus is savior" vibe. I get why Christians go there, but I don't have that faith.
I refuse to be spiritual. I know it's a catch-all, but please. Spiritual says patchouli, incense, organic foods, and Prius. They all have their places, and aren't bad, but I refuse be defined by some stupid term that elicits that image.
I asked my friend Ed about this whole thing. Ed seems to know The Bible inside and out, like he's some sort of scholar or something. He's a very devout Coptic Christian (which apparently just means that he gets to got to all the Christmas Sales BEFORE their Christmas celebration, instead of after!). He has an air of realism about him and puts regular life into religious perspective quite easily. Ed's a good guy, too. But, good guy and smart shopper aside, he couldn't explain to me why Jesus is the guy. Apparently it's self-evident or something. Must be a faith thing. Which I don't have.
So, to ramble on, where does that leave me? I'm not really sure of my choices, here. I'm not even convinced that a savior is coming, so I don't think I can be Jewish, either. I think there are minimum requirements.
But, maybe I just don't know enough to know yet. Is that it? After more studying, will something just "pop" into my head and I'll be a believer? What do I study?
I can tell what I don't want to be. I can tell the kind of person that I want to be. When I fill out a form or survey, I check "Christian." That's what I identify with. But, why?