A Smiley Not Required

Recently a couple of my friends have asked me what qualities I want in a woman. I don’t remember exactly what I answered. I’m sure I wrote some flippant answer meant to make me sound both deep and shallow at the same time.

“She must make me laugh, be intelligent, morally sound, and have good boobs.”

Looks like something I would have written about my perfect woman’s qualities. Only when writing it, I would have had to punctuate it with one of those little smileys to indicate that I’m only kidding about two of them. ;)

So, what do I really want in a woman?

"I want a woman that does not require a smiley."

It's really that simple.

I'll net it out. When I joke, I want her to know that I'm joking. Not assume. Not think. Know.

She'd better fight right back, too!

I'm the boy that likes you so much he pulls your pigtails. (I need the girl to pinch me back.)

It sounds juvenile, perhaps. But, there you go. I know myself, at least to this degree.

So I have a litmus test now? I do. Unfortunately, it took me until age 39 to realize that I have the same standards that I did in second grade.

There have been too many times when I've compromised and just tried to tone myself down. There's certainly a time and a place to be serious. But, the second date isn't it.

I've often been asked what type of guy I am. A boob guy, ass man, legs? I like 'em all, I suppose. You can add a beautiful face or great lips, eyes of any color, as long as they smile and shine with a bit of fire. But, honestly, she'd better be a bit spunky and fun. The rest will fall into place.