Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Ear To Hair Ratio (E:H)

There's really no doubt about it. I have big ears. I can only pray that those stories about ears growing forever aren't true...

Over the years, I've made piece with my ears. I've come along way from getting in fights because someone called me "Dumbo."

"Lots of people with big ears are famous." -- Timothy

But, I'll admit that I've become self-conscious about them, once again. It's because now I have less hair AND I want a date. The less hair, the more ears stand out. Do I really think that my ears will stop a girl from liking me? No. But, I still hate my ears.

I'm currently not bald, but I certainly have less hair up front than I'd like. I don't want to be one of those guys that people think is kidding himself, you know? If my ears were small, I might have shaved my head by now.

A few months back, I cut my hair VERY short. Go to work, and one of my coworkers makes a crack about my huge sails in front of everyone. Asswipe. I don't think he even thought it would hurt. But, a couple of days later he was kissing my ass, so someone must have clued him in.

So, while I wish my ears were smaller and I wish I had more hair, you play the cards you're dealt, right. Which way to go? Do I increase my E:H ratio or reduce it? Tough call.

I guess when it becomes "critical" I'll already know what to do. I can't be kidding myself about these ears. I can be about the hair. Lose the hair and flaunt the ears? Which peacock gets the babes anyway, right?

My saving grace was a realization that I only remembered my ears seeming smaller. Turns out that they've always looked immense. Check out the 1990 Roland.

Same ears, more hair. I don't think the ratio was doing much for me.

I don't think the girls were lining up because of the ears, but I did okay.


  1. It was the smile, not the hair. Very nice smile!

  2. Your ears are just fine so ...STOP IT! :) Really they are fine and Erika is right your smile is so amazing that it is the first thing you notice. Same goes for your eyes, so worry less about the ears and start smiling more. Chicks dig guys with a great smile and killer eyes!

  3. What's up Roland.

    People in general need bigger ears & smaller mouths, so you ain't doin' too bad.

    As for the hair thing, I'm right there with you. Slight concern for the progressive loss, progressive resign to the fact that fate and genes are what they are.

  4. So, you're all in agreement. I should shave it off?

  5. Hmm, not sure. Have you tried it before? Is your head nice and smooth/symmetrical like Woody Harrelson, or knobby and veiny like a deformed cow fetus?

    I'm sure mine is the cow thing, so I need the hair. If you can pull it off, though, it might be pretty suave.

  6. Shave it off!! I think you'd look great.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...