Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Stupid movies that other people, who I like, like

I''ve been supposed to write my list of movies about honor, but that takes a lot of thought.  Instead, you get movies that, for some reason, people like, but I think are stupid.  You don't even get ten.  I count six.  Help me with four more, please.

Serendipity 

Jonathan: So are you gonna meet your boyfriend now or what?
Sara: No, I think he's out probably doing what you're doing.
Jonathan: Getting a crush on somebody else's girlfriend? No, I'm sorry, I just meant I had a really nice time. You know, maybe you should give me your phone number. Just in case.
Sara: In case of what?
Jonathan: In case of life. I just had a really great time and for all we know I wouldn't be able to find you again.
Sara: Well, if we're meant to meet again, we'll meet again. it's just not the right time now.

Total bullshit.  If you want something, you make it happen.  "It wasn't meant to be" is a way of letting yourself off the hook for being a pussy and not making your move when you had the chance.


Serendipity
has one
redeeming
quality.




Kate and Leopold

A mysterious time warp is needed, by the screenwriter, to bring a prince or duke or something to the future to date Meg Ryan.  Romantically stupid.  Stupid premise.  Stupid plot.  Stupid lines.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.



Cocktail

When it's on tv, I sometimes watch parts.  Just like I test a bruise every few hours to see if it still hurts.  BTW, it does.





A Fish Called Wanda

Booooooring.  Women always like it.  Some of them own it.  I even rented it again because a chick with otherwise wonderful taste (she liked me...) told me to give it another chance.  Still boring.


What Women Want

Dumb.  Really dumb.  ...and I'm getting tired of the linking to IMDB part.




Fatal Attraction

Okay.  Good movie, but AnneArcher is phenomenally beautiful in it and what's-her-name is NOT.  Wouldn't have happened.  New actresses, please.




Signs

If only there were no aliens...  What a good movie it would have been.





The Abyss

If only there were no aliens...  What a good movie it would have been.





Oh look!  You can see a double feature!












Kate & Leopold / Serendipity for $17.99 





I think that's seven.  What's on your list?

4 comments:

  1. The Prestige -- I saw the "surprise" ending coming on in the first half-hour and was bored after that.

    Along Came Polly -- too masochistic for my taste

    License to Wed -- ditto. Why is torturing the protagonist for 90 minutes supposed to entertain me?

    Office Space -- has anybody actually watched the second half of the movie? Its plodding pace and lack of humor kills the brilliance of the first half.

    Femme Fatale -- one of the worst endings ever, but Ebert loved it

    The Royal Tenenbaums -- guess I didn't "get" it

    The Talented Mr. Ripley -- I don't remember the details but I remember feeling that there were massive plot holes that annoyed me

    ReplyDelete
  2. I forgot about Along Came Polly. I put 50 First Dates up there with that one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am probably the only person in existence who disliked Jerry McGuire ... he did NOT have me at hello. She needed to grow some self-esteem and tell him to go fuck himself!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I pretty much hated Jerry McGuire, too. I don't think I ever bought that they liked each other, or that he liked her better than himself. I did NOT feel he completed her or me.

    ReplyDelete

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