My Cats

A lot of you might skip this read... I'm not offended. Just go. Go!

















Cats have always been like background music. I like cats, but they were always someone else's cats. My kids have had cats that I liked to pet and play with, but at night, the cats would go to the kids' rooms and sleep on Allie's head or lay on Tony's feet. When I would get home from work, the cats would look up, not move an inch, and go back to sleep. I could hear them purring, but they might have been purring before I got home, too. They were like background music: Background cats.

Now, I have two cats. I had to be talked into getting the first one. My kids wanted me to have one, but I knew it was really all about them. The second one was (is?) my kids' cat. It's taking up "temporary" residence here with me.

Jack is cat #1. A little orange tabby. He's not so little anymore, but I still think he is when he's not in front of me.

When people compare cats to dogs, they talk about cats as if cats are not loyal or loving, and as if they have no real interest in us; they just do their own thing. These are people that have not had their own cat. They've had background cats.

After a few days with Jack, I was telling people how dog-like he was. He was following me around the place, wanted constant attention and gave me lots in return.

However, when my kids came over, he looked up and went back to sleep. He might purr, but only if he was purring before. Jack is their background cat. Jack is my cat. My foreground cat.

Enter Mayo, cat #2. She's a Siamese mutt of a cat. Obviously Siamese, but she's got a splotch of tabby on the tail, too. She's very quiet and very calm. She's been with me for a few months, and when I come home, she at least looks up before she goes back to sleep.

Where Jack follows me around and asks for the attention, Mayo just hangs, right out of reach; in the room, sleeping with Jack or all by herself.

Mayo is like that single person who bring his laptop to Starbucks at the end of the day to finish his work, because sometimes you just need to be around people. I can relate to this cat.

Lately, I've been paying a little more attention to Mayo. I didn't really know if it was what she wanted, but we tend to ascribe emotions and thoughts to our animals. She needed the love, I thought. I felt sad for the cat, alone on the other side of the room, while Jack was all over me, getting all the attention, merely because he demanded it. So, as I'd get home from work, when Mayo looked up before going back to sleep, I'd put down my bags and go over and pet her for a minute.

Fast forward a month. Mayo is no longer on the chair when I come home. She has moved right to the doorway. When I get home, there she is. Laying there, waiting. Saving me a few steps? She acts pretty much the same. I pet her for a minute, then Jack noses in for his bout of attention, and Mayo goes back to sleep.

Fast forward again. Jack has a ritual. He wants me to get up. It doesn't matter if I wake up once or five times during the night. Once I'm awake, he wants me up. He demands attention.

If I actually get up and out of bed, he runs to the food bowl, making sure I'm following him there. Usually, when I get there, there's already food in the bowl. I'm not sure what his deal is. I think he's just tired of my sleeping. This is his excuse to get me going. Once he's there, he eats and leaves me alone.

The last few weeks, Mayo has joined in on this ritual. With a twist. She noses into the bowl, then seems to give up, letting Jack eat first. She's older and "in charge," so I find this odd. She gives up and wanders over to me, where I'm making coffee. Plops down near my feet. She makes a chirping noise.

In general, I don't pet her when she's laying near me. If I do, she leaves. She just wants to be near me, but that's all. But, lately she keeps chirping until I cave and pet her. And, she still gets up and wanders off, but she keeps coming back. Chirp, pet, wander, repeat.

At first, I tried to sit down with her and pet her when she did this, but that's not her speed. Do that and she leaves. Wait for her to come back and chirp and she keeps coming back. At least until Jack is done eating, then he hogs the attention and she's off to the couch again.

I'm pretty impressed. She's developed this devious plan to trick Jack away for a while so she can get the attention her way. It's brilliant for a cat. She doesn't even pretend to eat anymore. She watches his head go into the bowl and she heads for me. She chirps and gets some attention, on her terms, and just the right amount to suit her. I almost just stand there with my hand out and she pets herself on my hand. Ten minutes of chirps and pets while Jack eats. Today I got a face nuzzle, too. A first for me, but I've seen her nuzzle my daughter many times.

People think dogs are more like people, but I'm not sure that's true. A dog is like a big blubbering idiot person. Or a guy. Sure they're kind of loyal, but they also run off and get the attention from anyone with a lap. I'm actually starting to think that cats might be just as much like us as dogs are, just in different ways. Jack is loyal to me. He will let my kids have some attention, but it's nothing compared to what I get. Mayo is primarily my daughter's cat. When Allie's here, she gets the attention. But, when Allie's away or asleep, Mayo is my little cat again. It's just on her terms.

This might look like some cat:human comparison, but it's not. I'm not going for deep, here. I'm simply glad that my kids talked me into a cat. I'm not trying to learn about people from these cats or give the cats more credit for intelligence than they are due. This is the first time that I've had foreground cats, and it's a bit surprising to me. I like it. Background cats are annoying, simply because you still have the clean up after them.

The Ghost of You Lingers

All day I've felt like I'm running late. Like there was something needed doing. Pacing at work. I needed to get off.



This song is not relaxing. It sets an awkward pace and sticks to it. Like the song is pacing along with me.

My "Favorite" Scary Movies

I'm not a big scary movie guy. I watched them as a kid, which causes all sorts of issues... Then, as an adult, it took being dragged along. Only a girl could do that. I just told me friends "no."

I thought I'd have trouble coming up with ten of them that I'd actually seen all the way through, but I got it covered, barely. Turns out of seen more than I thought, but no where near as many as you. So, that means that this list is useless to YOU, unless you want a glimpse into my scaredy cat side.


The Other -- An "evil twin" story. Soooo creepy. My parents told me to go to bed, but instead, I watched this while hidden behind the plants and a sofa. It was horrible. I couldn't sleep after that. I would like to watch this one again, like poking a bruise, perhaps.

Alien -- As a chicken shit at 13, I actually left the theater. It wasn't the blood, it was the suspense. I just couldn't take it. Since then, I've seen it a dozen times.


Silence of the Lambs -- "It puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again."

I love this movie. Everyone does. But, the sequels go to far.


The Sixth Sense -- I don't think I've ever been more riveted by a movie. And, the end totally surprised me. I didn't see it coming. Brilliant.


The Omen -- I only saw the first one because a chick invited me to some "old movie" at a local theater. I ended up liking it, but it was horrible for me. I'd see the remake if I was invited.


The Haunting (of Hill House), 1963 version -- I loved this movie. I saw it when I was home sick from school. On TV, then called it The Haunting of Hill House. It must have been heavily edited, but it was still scary. Very well done with no gore. I'm sure the remake took care of that. I'd like to see this one, again.


The Amityville Horror -- I don't know if it's considered good or not. I was ruined for a week, though.


Jaws -- Still scary enough to watch every time I see it on tv. A really good movie, not just a good scary movie.


Poltergeist -- I thought this one was fun. I'm not a connoisseur, by any means. Looking back, I'm sure it was lame, but I was a kid and saw it with a group of kids from the block.


Carrie -- I've seen this one many times. I remember watching it at home with the flu.


















Nightmare on Elm Street -- I remember almost nothing about this flick. I was tricked into seeing it. I worked at Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour, next the the theater. We traded food for flicks, so after hours (theirs and ours), we'd often drag food and ice cream over there for a free movies and popcorn. They almost always chose the scary movies, and I would pass. Anyhow, a girl that I worked with lied and told me it was a drama so I'd go with her.


That's all I've got. I'm sure I've seen more, but it doesn't feel like it. There are so many movies that I know about, that I almost had to question if I'd seen them. The Shining, for example. Never seen it, but I feel like I have. I've seen a lot of Stephen King movies, but they weren't scary in the same way as some of these. I think The Shining would be different, but I'm not sure I'm ready to try.

BTW, my next list is "Movies with Honor."

My Ten Favorite Romance Movies

My daughter has a friend over, and they are in a romance, nostalgia mood, spending last evening watching old Disney movies and oohing and aah-ing at the romance. Robin Hood and Beauty and the Beast. Beauty and the Beast is ok, but I love Robin Hood (the Disney cartoon, in particular).

After they went to sleep, I continued on with Say Anything, while making up a list. I started counting off my favorites, and this is what I came up with. Not necessarily in this order, by the way. There's no ranking, and it's only close to ten. It was hard to stop.


Say Anything -- It starts and ends with this one. Every guy had, has, or will have his own Diane Court. And every shy guy wants to be able to step up like Lloyd does.

Corey -- "I'm sorry, it's just that you're a really nice guy and we don't want to see you get hurt."
Lloyd -- "I want to get hurt!"


Stranger Than Fiction -- Although he's overly down and about 10 times more withdrawn than I ever was, Harold Crick is the fear that I've felt so many times before, when the woman I know is the right one, is right there.

Here's my favorite scene.


Notting Hill -- I've read this script so many times. The dialog is amazing.

The scene where all of his family and friends love his girl is wonderful. It's one of the best feelings in the world, when that happens.

Plus, we've got this line. "After all... I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."


Casablanca -- "We'll always have Paris." Or, Irvine, Fullerton, Torrance... We all have our Paris.


French Kiss -- I love how you just can't see them together, until you can't see them apart.


When Harry Met Sally -- So many truths.

"No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends." -- Harry


The Princess Bride -- The dialog is so corny and brilliantly true. "This is true love - you think this happens every day?"

Of course, don't we all have some secret message that we send, yet keep to ourselves? "As you wish."


Ladyhawke -- Those painful moments when they try to be together, but miss. Horrible. When this movie is on tv, I can't not watch it.


Sleeping Beauty -- I don't know what it is about this movie. It's beautifully drawn with beautiful music and a beautiful cartoon girl. I don't know why Phillip loves Aurora, but he does go all out. This is a sweep-you-away sort of movie, in cartoon form.


Lady and the Tramp




Ever After -- I just like Drew Barrymore, and Cinderella is a great story.


Mulan -- Shang doesn't even know he wants a bad ass girl, but he does. So, that's what he gets. Mulan is the baddest chick in China.












And, waaaay cute.



Robin Hood -- "Oh, he's so handsome... just like his reward posters."

This is actually the very first movie I remember watching. I thought Robin was the coolest guy ever. Very fitting to have made Maid Marion a fox, too. I had a little cartoon crush on her. Maybe I still do...


That's that. But, to bring some balance back, I need to knock out another list of movies with blood, sports, or action. Or porn. Keep your eyes open.

Friday

It's a holiday, today for the kids. I don't get which one it is. Some schools were off last Monday, all seem to be off this Monday, too.

One entertaining thing about living here at the lake, is that you get to see people exercise. For the most part, it's really bad.

There's a group of women who stretches and warms up, then starts walking. Yes, walking. Their warmup seems more intense than the workout. Who the hell warms up to walk, anyway?

There's a very entertaining group of moms who bootcamp around the lake with their strollers. As funny as it looks, it's not all that bad. They lunge and do pushups, and their leader has a bunch of bands with her. They sweat, too.

These women are really the highlight. Most people "power walk," jog, or run. Endlessly. I've seen one guy dramatically change his appearance over the past four months. The rest remain the same.

It's extremely windy today. Enough wind to make the lake water lap over the "shore." Poor ducks aren't getting their bread rations, either.

Chicken Mole with Masa Cakes

This mole is a little fancier than my typical one. It's smoother, thicker, and chocolatier. It's also less messy to eat and it looks pretty good on a plate. Instead of rice, I use masa cakes.

For those of you not big into Mexican foods, masa is what you call the dough that used to make corn tortillas and tamales. While these cakes are true masa, they are close enough for government work. True masa requires that the kernels be ground, not chopped and blended. So, you either need to buy fresh masa at a Mexican market or tortilla factory, or buy dry masa flour and mix with water. The first option isn't going to happen... The second option makes cakes that aren't as good as these. The option here, the third, is to use canned hominy and whirl it in a food processor.

These are coarse, for what that's worth. But, they are really good.



Chicken Mole with Masa Cakes

Serves 4 (even for two, make it all. I'll give you tips at the end... If you just make half, what will you do with the extra hominy?)


Masa Cakes

1 29oz can hominy/~3 1/2 cups, drained (yellow is preferred, simply because it looks better. white is fine.)
1/4 cup water (approximately)
2 tsp salt
4 tbsp butter or good lard*, room temperature
3/4 tsp baking powder

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. If you're roasting garlic** for the mole, put them in when you turn the oven on.

I have a tiny processor, so I ground the hominy in two batches. 1/2 the hominy and about 1/8th cup of water, in my case. Use just enough water to allow it to grind well.

In a bowl, mix together all ingredients.

Grease 8 small ramekins well with butter or oil. Divide the dough evenly into all dishes and smooth down with the back of a spoon or rubber spatula.

Bake for 25-35 minutes, until they start to brown and the edges begin to slightly pull away from the sides of the ramekins. Remove from oven and loosen the cakes, but leave in the ramekins until just before serving.


Mole

2oz Dried Ancho Chilis (about a bag)
2oz Dried California, Guajillo, or other large dried, mild chilis (about a bag)
½ diced banana, slightly green tips preferred
1/4 cup almonds
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
2 cloves roasted garlic ** or 1 clove raw garlic (all garlic is optional, depending on good breath needs, later)
2 cups water, plus more for thinning
2 tablespoons butter or good lard*
Some chocolate *** or 1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
Salt to taste
Sesame seeds (garnish)

Heat a large dry skillet over medium high heat. Add enough dry chilies to cover the bottom of the pan. using tongs, keep turning them as they puff up. They will become pliable and softer, probably. Keep going until the are very fragrant and dark, but not burnt. Set them aside and repeat until all chilies are toasted.

Break or cut the chilies open with scissors or your hands. Shake and scrape out most of the seeds and stems.

Put the chilies and the water in a blender jar and blend well. Add more water if necessary. Put a course strainer or fine colander over a saucepan, pour the chili mixture into the colander and use a wooden spoon or rubber spatula to stir and scrape the mixture, forcing the liquid into the pan, below. Discard the thick stuff in the colander. Rinse the blender jar out and then return the puree to the blender. Add the remaining ingredients and blend. If the garlic isn't done roasting, don't worry. Keep it all in the blender until close to the last minute.

When the garlic is done, discard the skins and add the cloves to the blender and blend until smooth. Pour the mole into the saucepan and heat it up over medium heat. Add additional water, if necessary. It should be just thick enough to stay in place on a plate. If it's too thin, simmer for a bit to reduce it.


Chicken

1 1/2 lbs boneless chicken breasts
1 tsp olive oil or a few sprays of non-stick spray or olive oil spray
salt

Put a breast peice into a heavy ziplock bag or between a folder piece of plastic wrap. Zip it closed while squeezing all the air out of it. Place it on a cutting board and gently pound it flat using a flat meat mallet or heavy saucepan. Don't just hammer away, sort of work from the center, out, in wavs. They will slowly get flatter and even in thickness. Repeat with all the breast pieces. Set them aside on a large plate.

Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Add olive oil or spray and swirl to coat. Cook chicken until nicely browned. Pounded chicken cooks quite a bit faster than thicker breasts, by the way. You can cut to see if it's done, as you'll be slicing it up afterward, anyway.

When the chicken is done. Allow it to sit on a plate for 5 minutes before slicing. When slicing, use a sharp knife and try to keep the pieces together. They will look better on the dinner plates if you lay out continuous pieces of chicken instead of a pile.


Putting it together

It's all done. Pour a puddle of mole on each plate, making sure you'll have enough to drizzle a bit on top of the chicken afterward. Lay two masa cakes on each puddle, then arrange 1/4 of the chicken on the sauce. Drizzle a bit more sauce on the chicken. Sprinkle the sauce with some sesame seeds for garnish.

Serve with a salad or steamed or sauteed zucchini.


* Someday I'll write up the recipe and some fine words on the beauty of lard, but today is not that day. In short, that gray lard on the shelf of your market is crap. Skip it and use butter.

** I usually have preroasted garlic in the refrigerator, but you can roast two cloves along with the masa cakes. Separate two cloves from the head. Smash them. Put them in a square of foil. Drizzle some olive oil on them. Gather the foil up to seal and toss it in the oven as the oven is preheating. Take them out when the cakes come out.

*** If you're making this for company, ask one of them if they have a piece of chocolate. People like that. It almost doesn't matter what it is, although M&Ms can leave colorful flakes that don't look good. They still work, just heat and stir and they'll go away. A few Hershey's kisses, a few squares of Hershey bar, Mounds. They all work. If all else fails, go with the cocoa powder or have a little dish of candy somewhere.


Tips for leftovers

If you're cooking for two, make all the masa cakes. The extras can be wrapped in foil or plastic wrap and reheated on a non-stick skillet. They go great with eggs.

Extra mole is great mixed with Ranch dressing for a chicken mole salad. That's where the extra chicken comes in, as well.

I make extra mole to add to omelets, eggs, tacos, to toss with steamed vegetables, or just to serve with meat. Add some vinegar and you've got a good bbq sauce, too.

So, How Shallow Am I?

Discuss...

Seriously, though. I got into a discussion with a friend. We were talking about women and somehow it got on the discussion of clothing and style.

Apparently, I'm limiting my options by ignoring whole swaths of women who don't dress how I want them to be dressed. The "read between the lines" portion of that says that "I'm shallow," although he didn't say that. Hence, the reading between the lines part.

Maybe he thinks it's money? That's definitely not it. People can make the most of things, and I certainly recognize that. It might be harder, but someone who buys all their clothes at Wal-Mart could still look good. You might need to go with a more basic style and skip the "fancy" section, but that's fine. Basic done right is better than elaborate done wrong.

So, it's not the money, friend.

So, maybe I'm shallow because I'm not looking at who the girl is? Instead, I'm looking at what the girl looks like? I'm supposed to look at her personality. Her character. Very true. And, I do.

I'd have to think more on this, but I don't think I can see into someone's character by looking at their dressing style. Certainly, someone dressing beyond their means says something about character, but frumpy people are probably as likely to shoplift gum as someone dressed to the nines.

BTW, I didn't ask him, but I wonder if my friend voted in the little poll I did on smoking vs shoplifting. 3 to 1, people said they'd rather date someone who stole gum vs smoke! Stealing is a serious character flaw, smoking is not.

Anyhow, we're not talking about someone I'm looking to hire to watch my kids or analyze data back at the office. Frumpy or stylish means nothing in that area. In fact, I'll take the butt ugly nanny, please. Is she cheaper?

Character is covered, so let's get on to personality. It seems like I wrote about this before, but when people get dressed, they're selling themselves. Always.

It may be conscious or subconscious, but there's always marketing going on. You're marketing yourself to your boss, prospective new boss, a potential client, a repeat customer, your husband or wife, your girlfriend, etc. And, of course, if you're single, you look at your closet and at yourself in the mirror and get yourself dolled up all pretty for the person who want to meet. Even if you don't know who it is yet.

At the job, my company tells us to dress to the level of our customer, which I do. At my job, the clothes are rarely a make or break thing, but you don't want to offend or look like a buffoon to a CIO, and you don't want to make the floor manager of a offset press room think of you as a slick salesman who's afraid of hard work. So, you dress to each level for those meetings. Hopefully, these two appointments are on separate days... But, I digress.

A person's sense of style is dictated by their personality, just like their music selections and book choices are. These things are a window into their personality. But, I can't see what's on her iPod from here and most girls don't carry books around with them much. That leaves style. Style is like a sandwich board or menu posted in a window. Give it a quick glance to see if you want to check it out further.

If you consider the clothes, glasses, jewelry, hair, perfume, etc., there are a million combinations of good on the menu, but there are ten million combinations of bad. I'm looking to increase my odds of finding someone I want. I'm not just looking to increase my odds of finding someone. What good does finding the wrong person do?

I think that this discussion might never have come up had I said that I was attracted to girl x, because of her cool glasses and slightly bohemian scarf thing, rather than say I was going to pass on girl y because of a turtleneck and mom jeans. And, don't get me started on the one that smelled like soap and flowers. I'm sure someone out there likes that flower scent and is comforted to know that you're clean, but it's not me.

Before I forget, I'm definitely looking for pretty. In that, I'm shallow. No doubt. You (I) have to be attracted to the person. Certainly, style plays a part in that, too. It's the whole package. Turtleneck and Flower Scent were both very pretty, but I spent a little time with each, and it became clear; they had their target markets and I'm not in it.

In the end, I concede that I'm shallow, but it's really a matter of being just the right amount of shallow.

My friends in high school told me that I aimed too high. Maybe they were right. If I'd aimed lower in high school, I'm sure I would have gone out with more girls. But, what does that say about me (or my friends) to lower yourself to date someone? I'm sure the girls would have been flattered, too ("You'll do...").

What would have made me happier? A long dry spell with short bursts of the best the human race has to offer? Or a constant stream of the mediocre? You can't really know, you can only guess. I think I got the former, by the way. All of them were wonderful, beautiful women, with great things to offer. This, of course, is the non-shallow way of saying that they were all totally hot. And, that being said, I'm happy.

You're not working hard enough if...

you can workout with an iPod hanging around your neck.

Rollen, Rowland, Rolland...

Having an unusual name is "charming." You learn to deal with it. Take people's weird looks or weird spellings in stride.

Today's title is taken from the variety of names written on my Starbuck's cups over the last week or so. I usually just go for coffee, so it's rare for me get my name on a cup. But, three wrongs in a row (one Americano, one "we're waiting for the coffee to finish. Can I get your name?" and one chick who I think just wanted to know my name...) and you have something to write home about.

I used to hate my name. When I jumped from elementary to middle school, I started off my new school as "John" instead of "Roland." I hated being Roland and all the stupid nicknames that they threw at me.

It worked pretty well, that change to John. I had gone on a YMCA camping trip for two weeks over the summer. I'd made friends with a couple of guys who were "above my station." Since they'd called me John for those two weeks, they set the stage for all the people to call me John at school, too. I couldn't have asked for a better setup. I wasn't just called John. I was John. Along with 50 other Johns, of course.

Of course, all it took was one cute girl (Hi, "Julie from middle school," and thanks) to screw this up.

"Roland is a cool name," Julie had said, and I now I regretted the switch.

The switch back was not as smooth. It took more time. Years later, people still called me John.

At this point, as an adult, the only downside to my name is having to spell it out and/or repeat it all the time.

"I'd like a Venti Americano, Starbuck's girl."

"Can I get your name?"

"Roland."

"Excuse me?"

"Roland."

(blank or uncomfortable look)

"Roland. R. O. L. A. N. D."

She scribbles it on the cup. "Cool. Thanks, Roland. We'll call you when it's ready."

It's a daily thing, pretty much. I like to think that it helps them remember my name, but they don't seem to have a problem remembering my friend Scott's name and he doesn't have to repeat it, much less spell it. So, I think it's just more work to reach that same point. I wonder what extra things Scott gets accomplished with that spare brainpower?

Oh, the coffee's ready! "Americano?"

Oh look, she's holding up a cup that's very clearly labeled "Roland." My first one ever!

"Americano for Ronald?"

Ronald.

I keep telling myself that tomorrow, I'm John. But, it's just not the same.