Clean Eating – I don't think it means what you think it means

"You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means." – Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

My wife doesn't appreciate the beauty and genius that is The Princess Bride, which is her loss and mine. Mine because I can't get easy laughs when I quote these guys, and hers because she probably won't appreciate it when I watch it the next million times, either. It's unlikely to grow on her. To not like this movie is inconceivable to me, but I wasn't fully convinced of her shortcoming before the wedding. I was sure she'd like it once she saw the whole thing, which may still be true, but she keeps leaving.

Like Vizzini's "inconceivable," there are many words and phrases that are casually tossed around in the diet, fitness, and nutrition world. Many have been so butchered that they've essentially become meaningless. ...or, at least the desire to get them right has waned.

I made a list of little fitness and nutrition terms and phrases that bug me, and quickly got up to about 10 phrases long, which is a little sad. I try to be a positive person, but sometimes you must vent, just a little. Sometimes the misconceptions around these terms are just honest mistakes, sometimes there's an agenda, sometimes it's a backhanded complement, and sometimes it's just bad grammar that seems to linger on. However I look at it, I am bugged, so here I go.

The first one of these terms is... Clean Eating and it's arch-nemesis "Everything in Moderation." I'm certainly not the first one to complain about these ones, but it's hard to resist starting here. I feel like it's the low hanging fruit on my list, but I'm just getting back from the Christmas break, so it's baby steps.

Clean Eating

Clean eating is a totally undefined and undefinable state. It means something different to everybody, but what it's said to indicate is a style of eating that doesn't feature poor quality foods and ingredients, there are no boxes and packages, and things like fast food are avoided like the plague – unless you can order a turkey patty and pretend that bun is whole wheat (um, don't ask, don't tell).

There's certainly more to it, but overall, the Clean Eating Specification is pretty vague in its specificity. To make matters worse, there's no one book, site, or resource to run to for the official Clean Eating program, although Tosca Roony and her Clean Eating library seem to lay claim to it (hint; they came later).

Steel cut oatmeal, fish oil, broccoli, skinless chicken breasts, and flax meal (not always in the same bowl) are the internet hallmarks of Clean Eating, as are the concepts that you simply can't be fat or get fat if you're eating clean. In fact, the internet says that eating clean when attempting to gain weight is the sure fire way to build muscle without loosing [sic] your abs. The only problem is that it's not true (I can so get fat "eating clean.").

Another big issue is that clean, itself, is not well defined. A vegan can eat clean, a low carber can eat clean, an "everything in moderation" person can eat clean, a paleo would say that only they are eating clean (some even shake their heads in sad wonder at the primal guys), and some organic, grass-fed paleos even look down upon their supermarket paleo brethren as they wallow in their conventional meat and veggie dirtiness.

The Clean Eating crowd certainly means well, and they are doing much better than most people eating a modern industrialized diet, but many live under the strange rules where you cut the fat off of your meat, only to cook the same meat in olive oil. Then, since butter is healthier than margarine, that's what you spread on your baked potato sweet potato. Iceberg is out, romaine is in. Why is table sugar evil, while powdered dextrose and maltodextrin are just fine as long as they are shaken into whey protein powder just before, during, or after lifting weights?

The rules go on and on, and while they aren't necessarily bad, they aren't magic, either. Trust me, just eating "clean" won't get you ripped unless you still eat fewer calories than you need. Looking for health? If you have gut issues, whole grains instead of white flour is a recipe for tummy troubles. Looking to add slabs of meat to your frame? Replacing the saturated fat from the burger patty you're not eating anymore with monounsaturated fat from olive oil or polyunsaturated fat from flaxseeds isn't helping anything.


Everything in Moderation

Don't get me wrong, I also don't take the flip side, where people actively mock those who follow a version of a Clean Eating lifestyle, because to them, it's just calories, calories, calories! ...and after all, calories are calories. If only there was an internet term for the anti-clean eating phenomenon... Oh wait, there is: My Plate! The USDA and myplate.org, does say eat what you like, but eat less of it.

problem solved.

Granted, no one is saying to eat junk all the time (not even the government), but they are saying that you can eat the junk, as long as you work them into your calories (and sometimes your macros), or maybe keep it to 10-20% of your calories for the week.

These Everything in Moderation folk are the people who figuratively shout out their epic cheat meals and free days all over Facebook, and when challenged by science or the suggestion that it might not be such a good idea, follow up with the classic mantra of "I eat ____, and I'm doing fine." What they are really saying is "not being able to eat _____ isn't fair."

Did you dad say life was fair? Life is fair, right? To be otherwise is inconceivable.

Christmas Gifts and White Elephants

If you're looking for something unusual to take to a White Elephant Party or give your food loving friend, here's my list of ideas, all food related and easy to get online.

I've got 4-5 cookbooks here, followed by a few gourmet ingredients that are sure go be a surprise!


Cookbooks

I'm going to tell you about the cookbooks, first. Not one of them is a healthy eating or diet cookbook. I don't really own many of those, so it's hard to comment on them. I do own Bobby Flay's Grilling for Life, which is a good father's day gift for dads who like to grill. It is a healthy cookbook (that's good anyway) and it's got some great tasting recipes that unsuspecting guests wouldn't even recognize as healthy. I love that book.

Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book

This is a great book for someone who's new to cooking or moving out on his or her own. This was my go to book for cooking any cut of meat, any vegetable, or figuring out whatever cooking technique the other books failed to fully explain.

When I moved out on my own, people gave me The Joy of Cooking, but I always referred back to this book because it's easier to use, has better explanations, and good pictures. It's available in paperback or in a ring binder version, which lets it lay flat on the counter. I like that best. I love this book.


Best Ever Three & Four Ingredient Cookbook

I don't know about "best ever," but it's good and we own it. It's actually amazing how many great dishes they do with just three or four ingredients. The dishes are simple and tasty AND simple to make.

The pictures are good, too. I like cookbooks with pretty pictures.


Jamie's 30 Minute Meals

The most common complaint that I get from people who don't cook often is "I don't have time to cook." Jamie Oliver shows you how to make 50 complete meals, in 30 minutes each. He teaches techniques and organization, which we all probably need.

The recipes are real food meals, but this is no diet food. If your gift recipient is on a diet, then beware the calorie load. It's the learning experience, more than the meals themselves.

One huge plus is that Oliver is one messy chef, and even his presentation is messy. It looks delicious, splatters and all, and makes me feel better that I'm not so good at "clean as you go."



The Flavor Bible

The Flavor Bible is not a cookbook, but it's a great book for those who cook. It's a really big book on flavors that go great together. If you know someone who loves cooking and experimenting with food, I can't recommend this enough. Just look up some of the ingredients that you have on hand and you'll get quite a list of flavors and combinations that go great with it.

I use this book almost every day, as does Galya.



Gourmet Ingredients and Foods

Some of these foods are treats, but high quality, healthy treats. All of these foods are special in their own way, and deserve a place in your own pantry in addition to going under the tree. Might as well buy multiples and treat yourself to some of these amazing foods.


Truffle salt

I'm not a truffle expert, but if you've never had them, this could be a good starting point. Truffles smell amazing on things as simple as scrambled eggs! A little truffle salt is an easy and inexpensive way to try it out.

Exotic vanilla beans

Tahitian vanilla is a great gift for someone who loves to cook. This is really a lot of vanilla beans, so hopefully the person that you give them to will share a couple. Bakers will appreciate these beans, though. Tahitian vanilla is different from the ones you typically find at the grocery store. These are fruity and heady, and you can just stand there and breathe it in...

They will last a long time if stored properly, so send them this link, or maybe one for making their own vanilla extract or vanilla rum or vanilla vodka!


Real saffron

Each half gram of this saffron was made from the stigmas of well over 75 crocus flowers, all hand picked and dried in the same day.

Saffron is very expensive, and I don't use it often. That's why I love the way this powdered saffron comes packaged. Each half gram comes in four .125g capsules, which can themselves be resealed if you don't use it all in one day. This allows the saffron to last for a long, long time and still be pretty fresh and tasty.


The best chocolate, ever

Patricia started Choco-Vivo in her kitchen, selling at Farmer's Markets in Southern California, but she just recently opened her shop in Venice, CA!

Mayan Tradition is my favorite blend. It reminds me of mole, my favorite Mexican sauce.

“Tastes like Christmas” or “…like red hots”.  This is one of the most popular blends.  If you think you know what spicy chili and chocolate tastes like, you haven’t tasted this.  The depth of flavors from the various ingredients makes it taste like the mole of chocolate.  You’ll taste that cinnamon first and then those chilies will kick-in at the end.

These are the ingredients of Mayan Tradition, and the reason this is such an amazing blend.

Cacao nibs, Unrefined Cane Sugar, California Almonds, Ceylon Cinnamon Sticks, Guajillo Chilies, Pasilla Negro Chilies, Chipotle Chilies

Other Choco-Vivo bars (they are all good!)


Cacao nibs (also from Choco-vivo)

A cacao nib is the raw ingredient for chocolate.

When "they" say dark chocolate is healthy, it's the nib that's the healthy part of it. They are not sweet yet, because no sugar has been added. They are crunchy, nutty little guys that are good on a lot of things. Nibs are great ground up and used like cocoa powder, sprinkled on ice cream, tossed into trail mix, eaten as a treat, stirred into yogurt or oatmeal, blended in smoothies and shakes, mixed into a cheesecake's nut crust.

If you're going to go with nibs, I will once again recommend Patricia at Choco-Vivo. Patricia is a passionate craftsman of chocolate. She goes to Mexico and works with her farmers, who are craftsmen themselves. This stuff is carefully harvested, fermented, and dried, resulting in an amazing little treat. I've had the Choco-Vivo nibs and compared them to the ones from "health food stores." There's no comparison; these are seriously better.


Coconut

Coconut and coconut products are a health craze these days, and for good reason – they are actually healthy. Just beware that coconut flour is so good that you will still eat a whole pan of brownies, and healthy or not, that's a lot of calories. Don't think it's a free ride because it's healthy.

It might seem like a weird gift for some, but take it to a White Elephant Gift Party and explain to who gets it how awesome it is. If you have a health conscious friend or relative, coconut is a great gift, particularly because good coconut products and raw ingredients can be hard to find, locally. Shredded coconut found in stores, for instance, is often ruined sweetened.

Tropical Traditions is my favorite place to get my coconut products, although they don't carry coconut milk. :(

Coconut flour

If you're going low carb, paleo, or gluten free, this stuff is a life saver. Gal makes all sorts of stuff with it. It's so good I might have to tell her to stop.

Shredded coconut (and flakes and chips)

From shreds, to flakes, to chips, you get whatever size you need. Shreds and flakes are great for baking, but the chips are good for snacking or in a trail mix, sprinkled on cereal, ice cream, made into granola, or even eaten as cereal.

Coconut oil

The Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil is the one that smells and tastes like coconut. It's amazing for cooking, and for imparting more of that great coconut flavor to your foods.

I also love their Organic Expeller-Pressed Coconut Oil, which has no flavor. I use this instead of normal cooking oils like canola oil and the other unhealthy seed, nut, and grain oils that we typically find in cupboards.

Both are amazing for frying, because you can really crank up the heat without smoking the place out.



Comments and ideas?

If you have any great ideas along these lines, please share!

Good morning

My goal of slowly getting my weight back above 200lbs was reached a few weeks back, and I continued things up to 203. Time to rein it in, so last Monday I stopped eating more and started eating less. I have never been an abs guy, but I can do with shedding a little bit of fat (and the wife returns on the 11th).

The plan

1. train for kettlebell sport
2. walk more
3. eat less junk
4. eat less food
5. lift weights twice a week

Numbers 1, 3, 4, and 5 are good to go. Number 2 made me look at my fitbit numbers. Not good. I gotta get those up, and fast. Not that I can lose a lot of fat before 3:05pm NEXT SUNDAY, but every gram counts. I use grams because they are smaller than ounces, so I have a much better chance. Plus, Gal speaks metric, so I hope she notices a few grams, at least.

In the past, Gal and I have joked like the fitbit was a little pet, and we have a responsibility to walk the little dude. So, after I noticed that I'd let my fitbit battery die, I charged it back up and looked on fitbit dashboard. I found that my numbers this last week were pathetic. This must change, so after my kettlebell sport training yesterday, I put some stew stuff in the crockpot and hit the road to Trader Joe's (rather than eat misc stuff around the house), stupidly leaving the fitbit on the base station.

Even after the walk, my numbers were bad, since the fitbit was still on the base station. It's frustrating, but good to remember that the record of the walk isn't the walk; the walk is the walk.

The positives were walking (of course), a podcast, not eating because I was smelling the food that wasn't yet ready, and noticing my feet have improved! While walking, I looked down at my feet, which infamously have pointed out like a duck's feet. Only they weren't like duck's feet, last night! Things are better!

Here, I stopped to take a picture of my feet, standing.

both of my feet

It's not the same as walking, but this is about the same foot angle, but with slightly less movement. And, since I also stand like a duck and tend to come to a halt with feet angled out (like a duck), this is a huge step up.

Gotta go. Time to walk the fitbit before it has an accident on my floor.

You don't always have to count calories

as long as you know that calories count.

One of my tools to help make people aware of calorie bombs is Chipotle Fan's Nutrition Calculator.

By clicking the options, you can see how simple choices make a meal better for your diet or better for a bulk! Try it. Put in your favorite, then start clicking to see how you can easily make it better or worse.

My dream burrito is 1080 calories, not including a beer, chips, and guac for dipping. By going with a bowl instead of tortilla, sour cream OR guacamole, and choosing rice OR corn salsa I cut my calorie load almost in half. I always remember to ask for extra veggies, and I end up satisfied and pretty full.

Even if you don't have a Chipotle near you, the concept is pretty sound for any burrito joint that can do tacos, burritos, or bowls. You might have to ask for something custom, but it's your dollar (or in the case of Chipotle, your ten).

people can lose weight by counting calories

including me.

In 2003, I dropped 75lbs by counting calories, so don't tell me it doesn't work.

It's frustrating to listen to a paleo, primal, or low carb podcast or read a book on the evils of sugar or processed foods, and hear variations of "as we now know," "as we see," or "as has been proven," as a precursor to "counting calories doesn't work." It does work.

Whether they are lying, being disingenuous, or merely lazy with their speech we may never know, but what they mean to say, or should say, is that counting calories...

• doesn't work for long because people get tired of it or get frustrated when progress slows
• doesn't work because the math doesn't always work, and they don't know how to manipulate things to make it work
• doesn't work because people might be eating the wrong things in the wrong amounts, leaving them hungry and unsatisfied
• doesn't work because people fail to realize that those formulas are estimates or starting points, and not exact

...and so they eventually stop counting calories, stop dieting, and become a statistic that's improperly used to show that counting calories doesn't work.

In the end, counting calories does work if you keep counting them and realize that all the formulas and values are estimates and starting points. Work with them, be willing to adjust them, and they can work for you, as my 75 pound weight loss shows.

Do I think counting calories is the best way to go about weight loss and keep it off? No, but not because it doesn't work, but because it tends to be unsustainable. I no longer count calories, except out of periodic and rare curiosity. For years, it was fun and comforting, but after a while, it got old, so I moved on.

Eventually, you should consider weening yourself off of counting calories before you flip out and give up. You've already developed the good habit of healthy levels of eating and exercise, so never stop, just find a way to do it that doesn't make you want to quit.

One of my favorite sayings is "always know your next plan before quitting this one." If you're getting restless with any diet, that's the best time to start reading your next nutrition book or to start asking questions. In the meantime, keep on keeping on.

Are you getting tired of counting? Are you afraid to start dieting because counting calories is such a pain in the ass? Do you feel like all diets are doomed to fail? Let me know what's on your mind.