The Archeologist Of The Future

I know so little about Archeology and the people that study it. Study of the people of the past has always interested me, although I'm glad we have scientists to write up the Clif Notes version for us.

What will the archeologist in our future think of the crap they pull out of the ground. Did our ancestors bury dead toads in the anceint equivelent of the Altoids tin? Did they put the pet hamster in a shoe box and take it behind the garage to bury it?

Where are our pyramids? Where are the ancient landfills and pet cemetaries?

I've got nothing important to say here. No real conclusions to draw. Just wondering. We read about the ancient stone tablets and tools, buried in ancient dwellings, the only records of the past. We learn how our ancestors lived from what they left behind and threw away.

Today was trash day on my block. I threw out some spoiled, uneaten food. It was still in the wrapper from the store. Never even cooked. On top of that was a t-shirt with a hole in the armpit. Some drier lint. A bunch of empty supplement bottles AND the cardboard boxes that the bottles came in. Finally, some newspapers that I didn't read (it's cheaper to get Friday, Saturday, and Sunday than it is to get Sunday alone! (go figure!)).

What will the future make of us?

More friends, more sadness, more joy

Most people would like to have more friends. Or, at least more good friends. Can you have too many friends? Is there a downside?

I've always had a small circle of friends. A few people that I was close to, rather than a large group. Lately, my internet friends have played a bigger role in my life. I don't ever see them, just their posts and emails, but in some ways I'm closer to some of them than I am to the friends that I actually see. But, I have far more internet friends than I do "local" friends.

The more people you know, the more likely you are to run into bad news. People lose jobs, get sick, lose loved ones, etc. It can be depressing to think about. Sometimes there are a few stories of bad news a week.

I'm a believer in God, but haven't chosen a church. I pray. I've prayed for many friends over the years. I remember when my best friend's father died and I prayed for Gary and his family. Really, the first time I remember praying for someone specific. I really only prayed on big things, so my prayer sessions were few and far between.

Nowadays, I'm praying all the time! Not only for the well being of my children, but for my friends, my father, my family. Lately, the bad news seems more regular, so I pray even more. I realized how much, the other night, when I ran down a mental list of people to pray for, many of them with strange internet pseudonyms rather than their true names (If God can't cross-reference, we've got big problems!).

For only a moment, I was little depressed; so much sadness and so much to pray for. But then I realized that I wouldn't likely be praying for all the people if I didn't care about them. They're good friends and good people and they deserve to be happy and healthy.

I'm glad to know them, and while I'm often sad for them, I'm also happy to have them in my life to pray for.

I think it's corny to end up with the line you start with, but I'm feeling that way, today...

With more friends, comes more sadness, but also more joy.

Change Of Focus

When I first started out to lose weight, I was amazed at how easy it was, once I put my mind to it. The weight melted off and the constant and consistent results was enough to keep me motivated on an ongoing basis. That was almost three years ago. Seems like forever.

It's hard to even remember how different things were back then. But, what I remember the most was thinking I was on the verge of being "done." I felt close for a long, long time, too. Strangely, I still don't feel much closer to "done" today.

I think it's a good thing to not see the end point of your fitness goals, while it would be nice to make a couple of solid milestones along the way. For instance, I still want to be leaner, but when my abs are here, I will want to weigh more, too. I won't be done. Those abs are my current milestone.

This is an ongoing frustration. Never reaching this one, simple milestone: abs.

I've taken a more long term approach to both this milestone and my overall fitness goals. One can only be starving so long before you get fed up and temporarily take another fork in the road. Bulk up, cut up, get stronger, repeat. The process doesn't get old; I like the changing routine. But, that one milestone would be great to finally reach. All the others are amiguous: get stronger. How much? Get bigger. How much? Getting leaner has a result that one can take a picture of and say "I'm done!" It's the abs again.

I can blame all sorts of things. Did years of being fat permanently slow my metabolism? It does test about 84% of "normal." But, despite compensating for this, things still go slowly.

This is my worst ramble yet. I'm hoping I don't look back and see that I never got to a solid point, but back to my bitch session. Maybe, someday, I'll reread this...

Lately, life changing events have put a smaller focus on the ol' abs. A pending divorce, the forthcoming sale of our house, my coworker leaving eight weeks early for maternity leave, a job change that didn't happen. All of these things play into it. But, the more time I spend away from my family, the more I communicate with other people. I hear about their troubles, their problems. Some are far worse than mine, some are on par, some have already been resolved, and they've moved on. There's something to be learned from all of it. From all of them.

I look around (figuratively) and see my friends, new and old, and what they've been through, conquered, overcome, or even lost to. I'm inspired by all of them.

Strangely, even with focus on others, rather than on me and the fat on by belly, the fat continues to leave (just as slowly, too...). I know this milestone will be reached, and when it does, great. But there are other milestones that NEED to be reached and NEED the focus, instead. I'll put my real effort, there.

Forte: Have the strength NOT to use the word

The word "forte" has always bugged me. Not the word itself, I suppose, but it's use.

When you say "forté," you're pronouncing it wrong. It's pronounced just like "fort." But, if you were to say "That is not my fort," 99% of the people listening to you wouldn't know what you were talking about. So, you have to go on saying it all wrong, just to not sound like an idiot to that 99%. What's the world come to?

Ironically, when you pronounce the word incorrectly, that 99% that understands, yet isn't aware of the mispronunciation, thinks you're being pretentious. The other 1% thinks you're pretentious, too. Only worse. They now think you're trying to talk above your own level of "class." They've now tuned out. What's for lunch?

If you were to pronounce it correctly, that special 1% would be somewhat pleased that you said it correctly, but would then wonder how you knew the right way. Now, they're now off in their own little world, wondering why you knew the right pronunciation, knew no one would understand what you're saying, yet chose to use the word anyway. It now doesn't matter what else you're talking about, they don't remember anymore. They now think you've merely made a mistake in choosing that word and are considering what to have for lunch.

So, it's too bad about the word. It's supposed to have connotations of strength, like a military fort, no?

But, now, no matter how it's used, it dooms your point of view by distracting the listener. Stop using it. Now.

The word "strength" fits the bill quite nicely.

Lost My Keys!

Over at my favorite forum, JPFitness.com, I'm locked out. Something happened to my account that keeping me from posting messages. I can read all I want, but no replying.

It's a little strange. You'd think it trivial; how important can it be to someone to post on a fitness forum? It's not MY site or My business, after all. I'm just a member. But, it feels important. I've made a lot of friends there.

It used to seem strange to have "internet friends," but not so much anymore. I used to talk to my corporeal friends about my ethereal friends and just not mention that they were "on the internet." They were just my friends. Now, it's no big deal to let them in on it. They have friends on the web, too.

Now that I can't communicate with my friends, I'm feeling a little alone. I can see them (well, their posts, anyway). They can't see me. I can read the threads all I want, but make no replies.

It's like there's a loud party going on, but the door's locked. I can't get in. I can see them all having the time of their lives, but they DON'T LOOK AT THE WINDOW! I knock and knock, but the music's too loud.

I have one method of communication: Private messaging. But, this is like Patrick Swayze using Whoopie to pass along info to Demi. Not the same.

Luckily, I'm not dead, odds are my account will be fixed by morning and I'll be back, in full swing.

I don't know how to end this, really. But that's why it's a blog and not a column in a newspaper. Because it's really only interesting to me... Here, they can just end. Like this.

Not doing me any favors!

A female friend at work asked me how "dating" has been going. Big zero, so far, by the way...

"No luck," I told her. "All the girls out there are too young."

She laughed at me and told me I couldn't tell their ages, so I couldn't know. I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because she continued on, explaining. "Women today," she said, "look younger than ever. You can't tell when some women are 22, 32, or 42." Again, I must have had that stupid look on my face. I'm a natural at that.

She pointed out some women at the office and asked me to guess their ages. I failed miserably every time, always guessing too low. At least that was a good sign, right? The women who I though were too young, were just right! In fact, my friend looks very young (and hot, too!), although she's older than I am.

So, I keep looking around and I find that she's right. Everywhere I look are young women. I'd swear they were in their mid 20s, but now I just don't know.

Unfortunately, younger girls are trying to look older, too.

The conjunction of these two worlds in killing me. Last week, I was secure in the knowledge that there were no single women in my age range. Now, they all might be. They can't be. Which are too young? Which are too old (unlikely...)? But, now there's the possibility of really embarrassing myself.

The more I know, the less I know.

Shaving My Face

I think this says a lot about me.

I shave almost daily. while I've had a beard before, I've shaved my face, nearly every day, for 20 years. I have a small mole under my chin. I constantly nick it while shaving. Why don't I have a plan to keep this from happening?

Every day, I see men with nicks on their faces. Thank God we pull the toilet paper off before we get to work, but why are we even nicked in the first place?

I've looked at this face for 38 years. I know every curve and angle. I can touch that mole, on the first try, without looking in the mirror. Yet, no plan for shaving...

I need to make some plans of action. For many, many things...

Not doing so, is pathetic.


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. -- Albert Einstein

I Hate Being Shy

The title pretty much sums it up. Nothing clever here. I'm not coming 'round to some point that's not spelled right out in the title of this blog entry. Simply said, I hate being shy!

What could be worse than sitting across from a pretty girl, who seems obviously interested, and doing nothing?

By the way, I only use the word "seems" to give myself some wiggle room. Part of me is thinking that there was no doubt about it. But, I could be wrong.

Pathetic.

Great Moments in Dating, Part Two

Continued from "Great Moments in Dating." below...

4. "Private Messaging" until 3am, getting up at 6, and somehow, not feeling tired the next day...

Now, I'm looking for number 5!

Great Moments in Dating

There are moments in dating that are big events, in and of themselves.

No matter how small, these things are big.

1. Yesterday's subject: The "Say Anything" Moment. Just typing the phrase, makes me take pause...

2. That phone call. You're one of those people who doesn't like to talk on the phone. You screen calls. You cringe when it rings. You like all the people that are calling. You just don't want to talk on the phone.

One day or night, you have a conversation. The one about everything and about nothing, then back to everything. It lasts for hours. Both of you are yawning and looking at the clock in amazement. 2 hours. 4 hours. A phone call's never lasted this long. More yawning. A brief discussion about hanging up because work is now only 4 hours away and you're both running out of time to sleep. But, you hang on longer and don't hang up.The call can't be repeated, so don't try. Just remember it.

3. That perfect date at Disneyland (or whatever counts as your local "happiest place on Earth") that just flows. Somehow, you're funny all day. You don't ever have a long, uncomfortable silence. You find that long lines aren't always all that bad. You discover that "It's A Small World" is kinda "ok" when you almost dare each other to even go on it. And, finally, nothing ever comes up in conversation that makes either of you cringe. Another trip, anywhere, will never be this good.

Save your snapshots, buy plenty of souveniers, including that picture coming down the log ride, and relish the memory. Think about how watching the fireworks that night was nothing short of magical. How the walk back to the car wasn't all that bad. A full day at the amusement park and, somehow, your feet don't hurt. Then even though you're exhausted and possibly more tired than you've ever been before, you have no trouble staying awake for the drive home.

I've had a couple of each of these events: 2 "Say Anything" Moments, 2 of those great phone calls, and 1 day at Disneyland. I'm hoping for more... But, I also hope to add a number 4. A moment that's new and unique. I wonder what it will be.

"Say Anything" Moments

"Say Anything" is a great movie. It's a chick flick, but with enough guy stuff to keep me going.

Who am I kidding? I love chick flicks.

I think many guys will relate to this. I don't know if girls will really feel the same about this moment in the movie. There's a scene in the movie where Lloyd comes over to pick up Diane for a date. He's already in love with her. Who wouldn't be? He waits near the door, uncomfortably, with Diane's father for a minute. Then Diane appears on in the kitchen. White dress. Beautiful.

I think every guy in the theatre just stared in awe. Jaws dropped down. Stunned into momentary silence. Father forgotten. Just like Lloyd there, on the screen...

Why, exactly? There was no single element that did it. Ione Skye is very good looking thoughout the movie. The dress is very nice, too. I've seen a lot of kitchens. But, when she appears, THAT good looking, out of nowhere, it's a moment. A big moment. A moment that can only occur on film. So, you'd think...

When I saw that movie, I'd never even had a girlfriend, much less had a moment like the one that Lloyd had. But, it was something to wish for.

I did get that wish on my wedding day. I'd never seen my wife like that before. When she came down the stairs of the church and appeared in that dress, truly glowing, I was in awe. Obviously, I won't forget my wedding day, but, in particular, I won't forget that one moment. That type of moment is rare and unforgettable. I know how Lloyd felt.

What made me think of this subject? This moment? I had another one. Yesterday.

Unfortunately, although I've seen her a lot, I don't even know her. I don't know if she'd ever seen me before, but she has now. I was in such awe at her surprise entrance that I got caught with my jaw down... She may have heard it snap closed, in fact.

A Total Ramble on the "Thresholds in Communication"

Sometimes I don't have much to say. I guess that's the point of a true blog. Say what you want, when you want. It's not like I've got some editor or publisher hounding me, right?
Email and web forums are like that, too. It's a lot like you're talking, only the words stick around for a long time.

A blog (like here) is your own spot. You say what you want, feelings be damned, if you want to be that way... I don't. I realize that this little spot on the internet can be found by my family, friends, coworkers, aquaintances, my some-day-to-be-ex-wife, etc. I type with that in mind.

Most of us know the "rule" of delayed email sending: Save that complaining, harsh email for a while and reconsider it later, lest you offend someone inadvertantly (or think better of it).
I suppose forums should have the same "rule." It's harder, though. On a forum, you're sort of "talking" to someone. Delaying the post is a little hard to deal with. Some forums I visit have moderated posting, which makes it take a long time to converse back and forth with your friends on the forum.

Sometimes even the most innocent words look bad on the screen. "Hmmm, I was THINKING
sarcastically, why's she mad?" Even those little emoticons don't help much. Maybe I use or read them wrong, but those fake little faces just don't have the same effect that a true face, in person, would.

So, just as conversations, in person, have thresholds that we won't cross, we (me, too) need to consider our online communication thresholds. We've had millions of years of practice communuicating in person, but only a few learning to deal with people on the other end of a computer screen.

We inherently know our in-person thresholds and STILL mess up quite often. Without actively considering our online, email, voice mail, forum, and newsgroup thresholds, we don't stand a chance. It's hard enough to keep friends that you see every day. Lose a friend on the internet and he's gone. You're unlikely to rekindle your relationship the next time you run into him at Starbucks, because your two Starbucks are in different cities, states, or countries.